


Lost and Found

by RaeSone99



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3207683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeSone99/pseuds/RaeSone99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver loses his memory after his revival and is forced to survive in the wilderness with only a cryptic hint from Malcolm Merlyn to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm late on the boat and the tropes aren't new but I hope you'll enjoy :) Comments and construction are welcome! I don't own the Arrow-verse. Thank you for reading!

It was silly really.

He’d been having these dreams, fantasies really. They helped fill in the time he spent while tracking. Not that he needed the kills; he’d built a couple of pretty great shelters, but one could never be too warm in the cold boreal forests.  He froze as the wind changed, alerting the deer he was stalking that something wasn’t quite right. It was frustrating. No matter what he did he couldn’t seem to adapt his mindset to this unforgiving place. Something always gave him away; a scent, an jerky movement, the manner in which he moved his bow…an inner  hesitation. As though, if he didn’t _have_ to hunt he’d really rather not. But he couldn’t afford romantic thoughts. Not when his life depended on the demise of others. In order for him to live animals had to die.

_I’m just so sick of killing._

He froze. That was one of those thoughts. The kind that alerted him to the sense that maybe he didn’t belong here. The kind with an edge that always eluded him. Maybe if he could just catch a strand of one of those thoughts he could weave them into a picture of who he was but he couldn’t and while it was a source of constant frustration for him he couldn’t afford to stay still and think on it for long.  He had to keep moving.  The man, Merlyn, had secreted him away from the compound, thrust a coat at him and smirked in a way that made him wonder if the coat was contaminated. Merlyn had only widened his grin at his hesitation.

“Don’t worry, all you have to do is survive until they find you,” Merlyn folded his arms and his sneer morphed into a frightening snarl, “They always seem to find you.”

Then the door slammed a second after the coat hit the ground in front of him.

He grabbed the coat.

Now he’d been wandering the snow painted forest simply surviving. There was no other word for it. He erected multiple shelters within a five mile radius of the compound.  At one point after a particularly bad storm had silenced the forest he’d almost gone to the compound but his instinct told him that was a place of death.

To survive he ended up following a pack of wolves who were passing by and scavenging one of their kills. It was one of the best nights of his life. He hadn’t been so satiated in a long time. That night he settled down in a tree shelter,

_Lair_

He grimaced. It was another one of those thoughts with edges.  _Lair, sick of killing, knowing how to survive,_ even the languages, sometimes his brain supplied random words that felt important instead of his usual English. One night after a bad day of hunting he thought that he felt like a… _gaijin_  his mind supplied. But never anything helpful. Never his name, or the name of one of the people that man Merlyn thought would find him. No friends, no family, no locations, just thoughts with edges.

 _Canary._ His brained supplied.  He felt a flicker of pride at having remembered, and it felt like remembering so much. He waited a few seconds and then twitched his fingers in frustration.  Canary, Jīn sī què, канарейка, what did it matter? He knew what a canary was; a bird.  He felt disappointment sift through him like soft snow through the trees.

It was still silly.

With only teasing thoughts, and the wild for company he’d invented imaginary people to converse with in his mind. Really two. One was bright, and bubbly, and hopeful, the other was easygoing, reasonable, and practical. He’d named them Shiawase and Stone.

Tracking this paranoid deer he imagined Stone would say,

“Why didn’t I get a cool foreign name?”

He rolled his eyes exasperated. For some reason these imaginary companions were rarely cut him any slack.

“Probably because you never cut yourself any slack,” he imagined Shiawase saying,  “I mean do you really need to track this deer? You can smell a body of water nearby, probably about a mile away. Why not hunt a fish? Or catch a fish because you can’t really ‘hunt’ a fish per se. Although…”

Oliver smiled to himself. A slight, anemic smile but a smile nonetheless. He didn’t know which of his former life these two were based off but he was 20% sure they were helping stave off the crazy.

It still felt silly but maybe when the people Merlyn said were looking for him found him things would become clear. The deer went back to eating and he crept forward, falling snow whispering past his lashes, raised his bow, inhaled, and he counted his heartbeats as he pulled the string on his bow taut... 

_Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop_

The deer’s ears flicked and it bounded away.

He froze as a helicopter flew overhead. Merlyn's words crashed through his heart, warring with a stubborn bone deep hope, 

"They always seem to find you."

\---

“Dig…”

“I know, Felicity, but this is the last place to search in this area before we have to go back. He’s here. He has to be here.”

Felicity nodded but even from this distance he could tell that she was having trouble believing that whoever they were searching for was here.

He wanted to believe these were his people but caution stilled his body. Both the man, a well built, even stepping man, and the woman, whose movements were more jerky but natural, were bundled up in thick fur lined coats, hats, and gloves. 

“Dig, I don’t know what to tell Thea.”

“Felicity…”

From his shelter in the tree, he didn’t care what his brain said, lair made him sound like a super villain instead of a—his mind failed to provide the word. The point was he didn’t like lair.

“It’s been almost two months Dig,” Felicity crunched through the snow to stand in front of Dig who was resolutely scanning over her head. Her gloved hand came up to rest on Dig’s shoulder, “When Cooper died,” a bitter laugh escaped her lips, “I spent months ignoring the fact that he was dead and not imprisoned. I’d actually drive to the prison and sit outside. The guards started recognizing me.” Her other hand raised to his shoulder, “At some point we have to accept it.”

Dig broke away from her angrily.

“I can’t believe that you’re just giving up on him like this! And you’re wrong Cooper was still alive.” Dig lowered his voice and it floated across the dell barely reaching their unseen observer's ears. “I promised myself that I’d never lose another brother and I’m not.”

“Dig, we’re searching for a ghost!” she yelled at his retreating back. “And maybe if you realized that he’s not…” Felicity stopped short and he could see her release a breath in a puff.

Dig’s posture was ramrod straight, “Maybe what? Go ahead and say it Felicity.”

Felicity sounded tired, “He’s not Andy.”

There was utter silence except for the snow. He wondered if he should intervene.

Dig whirled around and with words as soft as the snow spoke, “So this is how it is. Well maybe you can replace your hero but I’ll never get another brother. I’ll never get another chance to…”

“Chance to what?!” Felicity shouted. He winced. He didn’t like her loud voice. “Your squandering your chance, Diggle! Lyla and Sara are waiting for you at home. They need you but your determined to waste our…”

“Waste!” Diggle raised his voice a little. “You think searching for the man who’s saved our lives is a waste?”

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut, “No, I didn’t say that. Well I said it but that’s not what I meant,” she sounded lost.

“He wouldn’t rest, Felicity, if he knew there was even a smidgeon of a chance that you were out here. He wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t sleep, he wouldn’t even breathe if your positions were reversed. He loved you. Or didn’t that mean anything to you?”

Felicity stumbled backwards as though she’d been slapped. The sound of her gasp echoed through the trees.

“Everything. It takes everything I have to get up and keep going. You know that. You know what coming here…” She shuddered and he felt as though he was missing a piece of the puzzle.

All of the fight drained out of Dig and he rushed forward apologies falling from his lips, “I know. I know. Felicity. I’m sorry.” He placed both hands on her shoulders, a reversal of their earlier position. “I just need to search one last time. I need to know that I tried everything in my power and more to find him or his body. Felicity?”

The woman in question had gone stock still, her eyes shutting down. Dig called her name a couple more times before wrapping his arms around her body and holding her close to him.

“Not now Felicity,” he pleaded, “Just hang in there okay? We’ll head back and everything will be okay.” He continued murmuring while he looked around wildly just in time to spot their observer. A wild bearded man with sunken eyes was moving towards them slowly, a wide, fearsome, grin on his face and manic gleam in his eye.

Dig raised his sidearm and supported Felicity with his other arm.

“Who are you? Who are you?” he yelled threateningly.

The observer raised his hands in the air and took measured slow steps into the dell and the fading light. As he approached he saw Diggle’s hand shake and his eyes grow wider,

“It can’t be.”

He cleared his throat to use a voice he hadn’t used in months.

“Hi John.”

Diggle holstered his weapon. “Oliver?” He sounded like a little kid in a grown man’s body: disbelieving and innocent.

“What’s wrong with her?” He gestured at Felicity who was still unresponsive. Staring at Oliver all the while, Diggle began to explain,

“After you left she started to get these... episodes. They come without warning and we never know how long they’ll last.  If you push her she just says, ‘I should have told him.’ Lyla, and Ray, and Laurel, and even Lance have tried but..." Diggle shook his head. "But lately she’s been better. She was doing so much better." He sounded as though he trying to reassure himself. "And I thought maybe if we came out here... But it was too much.” Diggle shook his head and his voice came out filled with self reproach, “I should have known the moment she wanted to go back. It was too much.”

Oliver nodded.  _They always find you._  The hope and relief was being edged out by fear. They'd found him but was there anything left of either of them? They seemed to him to be a blanket unraveling. Shaking his head, he cleared his throat,

“Is the chopper nearby? Maybe we can take her to a hospital?”

“No can do man, there’s nothing around here for hundreds of miles. If we don’t rouse her soon though…”

He nodded again. He didn’t have the strength to carry her having lost too much weight in the wilderness.  Softly he walked towards Felicity, staring at her dim eyes. She barely seemed to register his presence. He’d dreamt of this moment over and over, in a reality where he didn't know who she was, and while it was different than he’d pictured he knew exactly, for once, what to do.

Placing his hands on either side of her face her angled her head to face his and then gently leaned his forhead against hers. Their breaths mingled together and it took supreme effort not to kiss her. Oh so gently he murmured her name,

“Felicity.”

Felicity jerked backwards away from him. Her eyes were wide and her lashes were wet but it looked, from the fire burning in her eyes, as though it worked.

“Oliver?” her tone reminded him of Diggle, hovering nearby.

He smiled at her. A real lips upwards, eye creasing smile. His heart was bouncing erratically in his chest.

“Hi Felicity,” was all he got out before he was tackled by a blonde streak. The air left him as her arms wrapped around him. He wrapped his arms around her back and sides. This, where his hands went on her body he hadn’t forgotten. They stayed wrapped around each other for a long moment until too soon she pulled away. In an expression he’d never seen before and with dancing, burning, eyes she whispered as though afraid the moment would be revealed as a dream and snatched away,

“I love you.”

Oliver’s heart stopped swooping and settled. This was right. Without hesitation he responded in kind,

“I love you too.”

A voice cleared behind them and Oliver opened his arms, and he gave Diggle a look meant to convey his unending thankfulness. It would never be enough, he knew.

“I love you too John.”

On the snowy taiga the three embraced one another. Tears mingling with joy pulling and weaving them back together.

Later, on the chopper ride, he woke up briefly to see Diggle and Felicity having a silent conversation. Their argument in the dell seemed to be forgiven and forgotten. Leaning forward Felicity kissed John on the cheek.

“Thank you for never giving up on us.”

Diggle nodded, and Oliver closed his eyes once again as Diggle's next words washed over him,

"Let's go home."

_They'd always find him._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
